A Cold,Hard Realization
by TwiSVU
Summary: Olivia has the day off, but didn't tell Elliot.Elliot is angry and wondering why she didn't tell him.Little did he know she never had the chance to to tell him.
1. Chapter 1

The gun was pressed against her temple. She couldn't believe that this is the way she is going to die. Her heart was pounding so hard she felt like it was going to explode .Trying to convince herself to not cry, made her cry. The tears felt like a pretrial, telling her that she was weak. So weak that she couldn't handle a tough situation.

His face then appeared in her mind. His piercing blue eyes, the crooked smile he always got when he had something up his sleeve. She in a weird way felt relieve, just thinking of his face gave her a sense of calm."_Wait, am I…..No I can't be, he is my par..." _ At that moment she felt a cold metal hit her head. The darkness engulfed her.

**************************************************

"Where's Liv?" Looking at her empty desk gave him a strange feeling that something was wrong. Trying to shake off the weird feeling he looked at the captain with questioning eyes.

"She had today off, she didn't tell you?" Cragen did not like that fact. It wasn't like Olivia not to talk to her partner._" They probably got into another fight…She still would have told him." _ Cragen had a strange feeling as well but ignored it. "Maybe she didn't tell you because she needed some alone time, so give that to her ok."

Elliot sat at his desk and stared at her empty chair. The knot in his stomach got tighter and tighter. This feeling was new to him. He started feeling his blood boil, angry because she didn't tell him. "_What the hell was going through her mind that she felt compelled to not give me the courtesy to tell me?" _ Elliot stared at his hands; he had the feeling that he should hit something or someone. With all his force he slammed his fist against the desk, causing the entire precinct to fall under a sudden hush.

"What the hell man! What did the desk do to you?" Munch said in a joking tone as he approached Elliot. Elliot looked up and gave Munch a look that caused him to back away. Elliot then got up from his chair and grabbed his coat. Fin started to get up to stand behind Munch just in case Elliot tried to do something. Elliot then walked over and was now face to face with Munch. Not wanting to hit Munch, Elliot started walking out of the precinct. Before he walked out the door, he turned and looked at his puzzled friends. "Tell Cragen I am taking a sick day."

************************************************

Olivia's eyes fluttered open, immediately realizing she was somewhere new. She lifted her head but felt a twinge of pain. Noticing that she was no longer handcuffed, she brought her hand to the back of her head. The knot on her head was the size of a golf ball, as she then felt the dried up blood.

Looking around her prison, the tears started flowing again. The room was no bigger than a closet; the light bulb that hung above her head swayed making everything seem more ominous with its flickering dim glow. She clamped her eyes shut and started rocking back and forth.

"_Liv, you're going to be ok…be strong…you are strong."_

Olivia immediately jumped to her feet and looked around her cell. How did she hear his voice, the room is empty. She started chewing on her nail, then her worries made here pace back and forth in the cell.

"I am in love with Elliot." Saying the words out loud gave her another rush of tears. She then fell to her knees and just stared at her hands, looking at the puddle of tears that were forming in her palms. Olivia's heart was breaking because she knew that if she did not survive her capture, she could never tell him the feelings that she kept bottled for all those years.

"I_ Love you too, Olivia don't give up… I am coming to safe you."_

Her head shot up immediately, looking for a face to match the voice. He was not there, but his voice was a comfort and she silently prayed to hear it again.

***************************************

Elliot was calling Olivia for the ninth time since he left the precinct to go talk to her_." Hello you have reached Olivia Benson; I cannot make it to the phone right now. If you leave your name and number I will get back to you as soon as possible."_ When he heard the beep to leave a message, it was like a cue to lose it, "Olivia why are you not answering your fucking phone, I am almost to your apartment and we are going to talk. I'm tired of this shit." Elliot immediately regretted that voicemail and called her phone again." Livvy, I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that… We do need to talk though."

Elliot walked up the steps of Olivia's apartment building and the feeling of something was wrong returned. He reached in front of her apartment and took a deep breath. He started to knock but as soon as his fist hit the door it flew open. Bile rose up into his throat at the first sight of the place. The apartment was covered with white feathers that had spots of blood on them. He ran in not caring if contaminated the crime scene. He found a note on the remote by Olivia's T.V. _"Turn on, Press Play." _

The screen showed Olivia on her knees with a gun pressed against her temple. Elliot dropped to his knees as he watched Olivia try not to cry. He saw in her face that she was furious by the tears and the fact she was the "victim". He watched in confusion as she closed her eyes and started smiling." _What the hell is she thinking about?"_ As if she heard his thoughts her eyes snapped open and the expression on her face was of realization and confusion. That's when the attacker lifted up the gun and smashed it against her head. Elliot jumped up and screamed. "NO!" His fists were clenched so tight his knuckles were turning white. He watched with horror as Olivia laid there lifeless. Then attacker came up to the screen and lifted up a piece of paper that read "You will never see her again." Elliot turned off the television, grabbed his phone and started dialing Cragen's number. "Elliot, why the hell did you leave the precinct, you get your a…" Before Cragen could finish he was cut off by Elliot crying.

"She's gone…Olivia is gone…Someone has taken Olivia." He was surprised by his tears. Then it hit him like a pile of bricks. "I love her." Realizing he said it out loud, Elliot tried to do immediately damage control." Umm we need CSU at Olivia's apartment because it's the crime scene and there is a tape…."

"Elliot, Stay there. You know the drill , don't touch anything. We are going to get her back." Before Elliot could say anything else Cragen hung up.

"I love Olivia and I couldn't protect her from some prick!" Saying the words out loud made him fall to his knees again. "Whoever this is, I am going to make them suffer."


	2. Chapter 2

" Get Up!" Olivia was shaken awake by strong rough was disoriented and forgot where she was.

"Wha..what?"

" I said get the hell up!" The captor grabbed Olivia's arm, pulling forcefully for her to stand up. Once she was on her feet she felt weak in the knees. Falling down to her knee's she felt two hands help her stand up again." Now I really don't like babying you so you are gonna have to stand up on your own. Do you think the big bad detective can do that? Huh?" Olivia was going to say an insulting remark but it was interrupted by his voice.

"_Olivia, do not do it! You have to do everything you can to survive. Please Olivia, stay strong."_

She gasped at his voice, and shefelt relaxed. She knew the disembody voice was correct. She had to survive. She decided she was going to survive so she can tell Elliot that she loved him. She stood up straighter and solemnly moved her head up and down.

" Good girl, now clean yourself up. You stink of blood." He then tossed her a wet rag.

*********************************************************

"Elliot, are you ok?" Elliot was zoned out sitting in the chair that he didn't even hear Cragen; so Elliot nearly punched Cragen when he placed his hand on his back. "Elliot…Elliot, calm down it's me." Cragen was backing up to avoid being punched.

" I…I am sorry. Umm, the bastards left a DVD...I have not watched it all the way through, I couldn't .I don't know about the feathers, and im pretty sure the … the blood is Olivia's." He started clenching his fist again. " In the video they said that we will never see her I need to find her."

" Do you think it's best?..." Cragen was going to finish his sentence but the look from Elliot was all the answer he need. Cragen walked towards Elliot with extreme caution, Last thing he wanted was to be punched. "She is going to be ok. You know better than all of us that she is extremely strong. It is you I'm worried about, I just don't want you to do something you will regret, or get into trouble for."

" I have to find her." Elliot stared at Cragen with a deep intense stare. Cragen knew that nothing he could say or do would change his mind.

***************************************************************

Olivia was washing her face off with the captor walked into her cell. " Come on, it's time to eat." Olivia dragged herself off the ground and followed the tall, scrawny man. Her mind was racing, how can someone so scrawny take her out? "_There must have been someone else, I mean; I would have fought, did I? Oh God why can't I remember... I wish his voice could answer my questions." _

They walked into a brightly lit room and what she saw took her by surprise. There was a table traditionally set up, with a roast and everything._" I was kidnapped by damn Martha Stewart. You got to be kidding me."_

He pulled out her chair for her to sit. He turned on a CD player and the music that filled the air made her stomach churn. Tchaikovsky's " Romeo and Juliet" , her favorite, all she could think was how he could he have known and that she could never listen to it again if she survived. Olivia was staring at the plate ,she could not bring herself to pick up the fork and start eating, so she was startled by her captor's harsh voice. " Eat!"

She placed a Brussels sprout in her mouth and cringed, frozen ones always grossed her out. She realized the face she made did not make him happy because he was now gripping the table with all his might. She tried to finish the vegetables but she couldn't. The vomit was slowly creeping up her throat.

" If you don't like it , THEN DO NOT EAT IT!" He picked up his plate a threw it against the wall, then picked up the table and flipped it over. He walked over to the stunned Olivia and grabbed her shoulders." Then do not eat it". Olivia's face then became his punching bag. Elliot's voice came in crystal clear.

" _Im on my way Liv. It won't be long. Just keep holding one."_

_ ************************************  
_

"What do we have?" Cragen was hoping for some glimmer of hope. He had no patience in trying to break in the new CSU tech. Ever since Ryan was killed they had been through five head techs and none Cragen liked, no one could replace Ryan.

" Well the perp used leather gloves as seen in the video, so there are no fingerprints. I have sent the video to TARU to be analyzed, we have however looked at it ourselves just to see if there was anything we can use . It explains the feathers, right after he showed the note to the screen , he turned and for some reason grabbed her pillows and took and ripped them apart. I am very confused about that sir." Cragen was starting to like this guy, straight to the point. " And …umm detective Stabler is correct about the blood it is Benson's. The perp had… ummm… grabbed her by the hair, wiped the blood off her open wound and started flinging it everywhere. I will let you view the video, im just explaining the forensics, I believe you need to view it yourself to get the big picture."

With a sigh Cragen thanked him and left the apartment , he couldn't handle being in there for another minute. He had a strong urge to grab a bottle of Jack Daniels but he knew he had to keep it together for Elliot and the rest of the team. The night was going to be long but he wasn't going to rest until Elliot got his love after waiting so long for him to realize it, without interfering. No, not after eleven long years.

**A/N: WOW ITS REALLY SHORT! I am sorry, but thank you so much to all who have reviewed.**


	3. Chapter 3

_A violent snow flurry was kicking up and Olivia felt like she was slowly drowning in the white power .She was calling out his name but there was no answer. Her scream was being drowned out by the howl of the wind. The strain to her voice was killing her, and the twinge of hunger was getting stronger. Olivia was running but she lost the feeling in her legs a long time ago, she had to escape she had to return to Elliot._

Olivia was awoken from her nightmare by rough hands "Olivia you have to wakeup… he is coming!" if Olivia wasn't paying attention before she was now, her mind went to million different scenarios. Her captor sounded too happy for it to be Elliot, so it must be a leader of some sort. Her heart was beating and it felt like it was going to rip through her chest.

* * *

It's two in the morning and all the computers in the squad room had automatically turned on. Little did everyone know that when the squad room doors opened that they would find a live feed of Olivia tied to a chair in a unknown location.

* * *

Elliot tossed and turned in the precinct's cribs; ever since Olivia was kidnapped, he never fully slept. His heart felt like someone had ripped it out of his chest. Finally out of frustration he ripped off the scratchy blanket off his body and sat up on the bed. He was sitting there with a blank stare for almost an hour when he heard a strange voice. _"Are you freaking going to say something you whore?" _His head shot up and he ran towards the squad room. That voice he heard just sound all too familiar, it haunted his dreams sometimes, the statement he said when they last seen him always on repeat.

"_How are Kathy and the children, Detective Stabler?"_

When he reached the squad room the numbness felling in his heart faded and it was replaced with terror. The entire squad rooms computer was a live feed of Olivia being punched in the face by Richard White. Out of pure rage Elliot picked up the computer monitor that was on his desk and tossed it across the room with great force. Cragen ran out of his office and looked at the rest of the computer's with shock. Elliot only heard his Captain mumble something about calling TARU but all he could see was red.

"_Elliot you have to get up .Don he hit his head pretty hard he might have a concussion._

"_Melinda do you think he is going to get up soon. What Ruben is saying is that it may take a day or so to track where the feed is coming from."_

_Melinda leaned in and whispered into Elliot's ear " You have to wake up Elliot , she is waiting for you. I guess in a corny way , she is waiting for her white knight."_

Elliot just couldn't bring himself out of the darkness because in that darkness he saw her face. Olivia happy, no bruises and safe. He walked towards her beautiful image but as he got closer she got further away. Picking up speed he tried to reach to her but she got further away. "LIV! OLIVIA!" But the image disappeared.

* * *

Olivia's breathing was becoming shallow; the only thing that was keeping her awake was Elliot's face sketched in her brain. Remembering when she saw the man who was really pulling the strings to the man she thought was her captor sent a shiver through her body.

"_Olivia you have to wake up…He is coming!"_

" _Wha…What? Who is coming?"_

" _My Dad! Oh this is really exciting. Oh boy , I really hope he is proud of me!"_

_At that moment they both heard a key turn in the lock. Olivia sat there in fear as the door creaked open. When she saw his face she felt the vile in her throat rise._

" _Hello Olivia."_

**AN: OH DEAR LORD! I am soooo sorry to my readers for waiting so long to update...Do yall hate me? LOL Life has been a bit hectic **

**So What is going to happen to Liv? IDK you will have to wait and find out MUHAHAHAHA  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN : Italic is Memories and just remember faithful readers ... I love you :D**

CH.4

The only noise he could hear was the crunch of the snow beneath his feet and his heart pounding in his ears. He was walking in the deep secluded woods with a slew of NYPD's finest behind him but he felt like he was walking alone in the fight to save his loves life. With each step he could feel his heart breaking, knowing when they found her she will be severely beaten or worse. Elliot shook his head to get that thought out of his mind. He also knew after all this was over there was some apologize that he needed to issue.

"_How long is it going to find her! It's not rocket science. Right now Richard White is beating the women I love and you are just fucking sitting there like a moron." Ruben froze at his computer, turning his head in disbelief, he just stared at Elliot. " I mean she is like my sister and she out there in pain." _

"_Elliot right now I have a general area where she is at but it not perfect, you have to give me time. Why don't you go lay down in the cribs , you look like hell."_

_Elliot just walked away without saying a word, he just looked at his feet. When he looked up he saw Munch and Fin standing there just looking at him with a sympathetic look on their face. Elliot felt the tears threatening to escape from his eyes , but he wouldn't let them. He didn't want them to see him break._

" _You know he is trying his hardest Elliot, Ruben owes a lot to her. Back off a little. Have you ever … told her you love her?" Elliot looked at Munch with shock and anger. _

" _You know what your conspiracy theory shit is getting really old Munch. Stay out of my fucking business. Oh and Fin before you say anything the same goes to you."_

" _Hey , That's fine man , you want to alienate everyone that cares for you and Olivia that's fine by me." _

" _I am going to go lay down in the cribs , get me if there is any news. I can't sit here and watch her get hurt."Elliot pushed passed them and went straight to the cribs._

_ **********************  
_

_Elliot was laying in the cribs for an hour, not sleeping. All he could do was stare at the ceiling, it was just to painful to sleep. All of a sudden Munch busted through the doors out of breath._

" _We got some news , you need to come with me now" _

_Elliot wiped the tears from his eyes and followed Munch._

_ ************************  
_

He felt like the search was taking forever in the cold brisk air. Ignoring the comments on the radio of it's getting to cold and too dark , Elliot kept on walking. Four hours into the woods is when they found it. A wood cabin, it looked innocent enough but they knew what horrors lied inside waiting for them. Elliot took a deep breath and opened the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Oh I have become the queen of cliff hangers … again remember I love you all.**

Ch.5

"Hello Olivia."

Olivia's breath quickened, Richard White had always haunted her dreams. He was right; he was always going to be a part of her life. She couldn't fight it anymore, the tears escaped furiously from her brown eyes. She dropped her head so they couldn't see, but it was too late. White lifted her head up and looked deep into her eyes.

"To pretty to cry" He forced his lips upon hers .She was screaming but it was muzzled by the force of his dry cracked lips. He pulled away and a low laugh escaped from his lips.

"Hey Alec you want a turn with the whore?"

Olivia's eyes widened, her fears were about to become reality and there was no way of fighting back. Her reflexes kicked in and it was too late to take it back.

"You go to hell, you stupid son of a B…"

_Olivia! Shut up … Please do not finish that sentence."_

She immediately closed her mouth, regretting what she said.

"Umm … Tha…That's alright …dad. I think I need to umm… check the monitors to see if someone's coming." Alec's eyes went straight to his feet as he walked away, shoving his hands into his pockets. Richards's eyes darted back and forth toward Olivia and his son. A fire was ignited in him and Olivia knew this wasn't going to end well.

"You stupid bitch." With great force he back handed Olivia so hard across the face her lip split in two. Her mouth slowly filled with blood but she had no time to react when the second blow hit. Hit after hit she had no reaction. Couldn't cry, couldn't scream, she just sat there slowly going numb.

************************EO*********************************

* * *

Several hours passed by when she could open her eyes slightly. A dull fire was burning through her entire body. She tried to move her head but a sharp pain hit her , tears started flowing and they burned streaming down.

Olivia had opened her eyes again and that's when she noticed a red blinking light.

**************************EO*******************************

" _We got some news , you need to come with me now" _

_Elliot wiped the tears from his eyes and followed Munch. They entered the squad room and immediately everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to look at Elliot. The uneasiness lurched in his stomach. Cragen and Ruben walked forward, both looking like they were either ready to cry or bolt._

"_Elliot why don't you come into my office, there is something you need to see but it would be better is you saw it in private." Cragen pointed to his chair for Elliot to sit, right in front of the monitor._

"_She has been saying this on repeat for the past 5 minutes Elliot .I warn you … umm … it's pretty bad. Are you ready? "Elliot shocked his head and Ruben leaned over and turned on the monitor and the sound. Elliot took a deep breath and prepared himself for what he was about to see._

_ *****************************EO************************************  
_

Olivia Took a deep breath looked straight into the camera and prepared herself for what she was about to say.

" _My name is Olivia Benson, I am a detective at the Special Victims Unit in Manhattan , New York. The 1-6__th__ precinct. If anybody see's this would you please call Elliot Stabler. He is my partner ... Elliot … I ... I love you. My name is Olivi…"_

_Elliot leaned forward and turn off the monitor; sitting there staring at the black computer screen, he broke. His head was in his hands and he couldn't fight the tears anymore._

" _Olivia , I love you too … I love you."_

_ ****************************EO************************************  
_

" My name is Olivia Benson, I am a detective at the Special Victims Unit in Manhattan , New York. The 1-6th precinct. If anybody see's this would the please call Elliot Stabler. He is my partner ... Elliot … I ... I love you. My name is Olivi…"

The tears were streaking down her face, each drop burned more than the other, but this was something she needed to say. She made her peace that she would not survive and that he needed to know that she loved him.

"_Liv don't give up … Keep fighting."_

" _It's alright El, you can let me go . Let go ."_

" My name is Olivia Benson, I am a detective at the Special Victims Unit in Manhattan , New York. The 1-6th precinct. If anybody see's this would the please call Elliot Stabler. He is my partner ... Elliot .I love you. My name is Olivi…"


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: WOAH, Long time no post. I am truly sorry about that too. Life has been CRAZY busy. I have a job now and Im in Cosmetology school! I will try my damn hardest to update. ;D**

** Ch. 6 Alec**

"Alec get your ass down here!"

Oh great the bitch is calling. I swear as soon as I get enough money, I'm getting out of this hell hole.I walked down the steps to the bitch's torture chamber. Oh god it smells of lilac, that's never a good sign. It means "mother" is entertaining a gentleman. Wonder what sleaze ball it is this time.

"Nice of you to join us , sit!" So mother that's what you are going to wear for your gentlemen friend? He must be ultra special. Your chest is almost exposed, and your skirt well, it's just not decent. I guess I should muster up the courage to ask who he is.

"Mom… who …who is coming over?" Damn why do I sound like such a moron . I sound coherent in my head but when I speak I am like a dumb child. Maybe cause I am a dumb child.

"Your father! Oh you look a mess, go wash up or something. God better yet take a full shower."

I cant move , im stuck on this crappy couch and I cant move. My father ? I have never meet the man … I god I never even thought about him, in my entire life I never wondered. Why haven't I wondered about my father. Im still stuck on the couch and mother is yelling at me.

" Alec go get a shower ! Geez you're such a moron." Yes mother I am a moron , that explains why my I.Q. is so high. Yes I am a complete moron.

I get out the shower and I hear "Tainted Love" blasting from means he has arrived , the next thing I know my head is in the porcelain throne .

After I become reintroduced with my small lunch I rebrush my teeth. Counting each stroke , one…three…five . I don't want to go down there , no I don't want to meet him . I want to go down the drain like the spit of my toothpaste.

"Alec get your ass down here!" That's my cue …fuck.

As I walk down the stairs I count each step , maybe that would slow time.

"_Sometimes I feel like I got to run away , I got to get away."_

Damn this song. Damn my mother. Damn My father

"Oh Richard you're so funny!" Wow the bitch is cackling

I reach the bottom of the stairs and I see his hand is on her thigh . I feel the rest of my lunch sneaking its way back up.

It's now or never.

"Dad?"

************EO*********************

_Elliot remained still with his head in his hands for several moments until something clicked. _

" _ITS NOT A RECORDING! THAT'S A FUCKING LIVE FEED!" Ruben immeidiatly flipped back on the monitor to reveal Olivia, no longer saying her planed speech._

_Elliot's stomach lurched as he saw her with her head to the side, eyes closed._

"_Trace the video. NOW!"_


End file.
